Have you ever thought being right even when provided evidence to the contrary?
We have conversations every single day of our life. All of us have probably had tough and lengthy conversations. A conversation turns bitter when we don’t allow the other person to express their views because it could hurt our beliefs. When this happens, the other person will simply unhook themselves from the conversation because they feel exhausted that we don’t get it.
The devil here is our compulsiveness to be right every single time
I’ve gotten into this trap many times, especially when discussing my beliefs. I used to feel uneasy when there was a contradictory opinion. When I thought about why I allow such conversations to get to me, I realized how I always resisted uncomfortable views. And this resistance, in turn, deeply stressed me out.
After a few episodes of being trapped in that bubble, I paused, stepped back and discovered two new perspectives.
The first one:
I remembered the story of a Zen master from a book I read. The lesson the master taught his disciple was “to empty ourselves of our preconceived beliefs to be open to a broader, more complex reality.” I couldn’t wrap my head around the concept of ’emptying ourselves’ much.
It seemed like detaching ourselves from all the experiences and impressions we’ve had, not having an opinion, and simply observing the new lessons without judgement. It certainly sounds ideal, but I’m not sure how it’s practically possible, given the highly distracted, competitive world we live in. I couldn’t resonate much with that idea. Maybe I have a long way to go to realize this truth. Perhaps that’s what it is.
The second one:
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